


Nothing is the same as before

by Robin215



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Abuse, Blood and Violence, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hatred, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Physical Abuse, Psychological Drama, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Rape, Self-Hatred, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2018-10-14 01:51:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10526391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robin215/pseuds/Robin215
Summary: Robin has been suffering a major breakdown because of a terrible experience they both experience Torture... How terrible. Gangrel humiliated the tactician and the exalt. They have to win that war. She will not allow anyone else to die.





	1. It begins

Pain… That’s all she sees. Pain. She has been there for at least three months, but she doesn’t know it. She has been prived from the most basic requirements to live, but she has said nothing. Her determination is formidable. With that kind of torture, anyone would have given up by now, or at least that’s what she thinks. She has tried suicide so many times now, but they won’t let her die. Gangrel won’t let her die. She curses everyone in her mind and hopes that the Shepherds give up the search.

 

She hears screams… Another one? Gangrel is a monster. When will he stop kidnapping people? She has had three or four partners. They’ve all died.

 

She weakly raises her head, trying to see who is it this time, although she doesn’t really care anymore. He’s going to die, anyway.

 

But, wait… Those screams sound familiar. Her interest increases. The bulky guards shove the man into the filthy cell that’s in front of hers. She tries to see, but there’s a chaos over there, the man fighting off the guards, the guards handcuffing him…

 

Gangrel enters the basement where she’s being kept captive.

 

She glares. She has never felt such bitter hate towards someone.

 

“JAJAJA! So I’ve finally captured you! Oh! I’ve waited so long for this! I will soon have the record of killing two exalts, so marvelous!”

 

Wait… Two exalts? She immediately knows who the recently captured man is.

 

“You will never get away with this, Gangrel!”

 

Chrom

 

“Oh, is that so? I think I already have!”

 

“I won’t ever speak! You will never possess the Fire Emblem!”

 

“You think?” Gangrel says with an awfully wicked grin on his face and leaves the room.

 

She just looks at Chrom. She’s astounded. She had prayed for this not to happen.

 

His rage was making him blind, and so, he couldn’t see whatever was in front of him. She was in front of him.

 

After a long while of uselessly struggling against the chains, Chrom stops. Another moment goes by and he raises his head just to see a woman in the other cell. Somehow, she manages to move forward and holds the cold bars. Positioning herself into the light allows Chrom to see who she is.

 

Robin.

 

“No… No… Robin? Is that you?”

 

Robin is ashamed about her current state. She’d rather be dead.

 

“Ch-Chrom…”

 

“Robin! Oh, Gods… I thought I’d never see you again!” The relief of his eyes quickly goes away when he looks at her closely. Bruises cover her body, she has a lot of open and infected wounds all around her body, dry blood covers her thighs which are exposed because of her ripped clothes, her nails are purple, her white her has turned brown and has been poorly cut off, she’s in a severe case of malnutrition. “Wh-what have they done to you?”

 

Robin did not want to answer. She just wanted to see him free before Gangrel did something to him.

 

“Robin…” He wanted to ask Robin if she was alright but it was obvious she wasn't. “Please, Robin… talk to me…”

 

Silence.

 

“We’ve been searching for you everywhere. We were very worried… ”

 

“...”

 

“Robin, ple-”

 

“How long has it been?”

 

“Three months.”

 

Her eyes were completely empty. Robin was looking at Chrom but she wasn't seeing him.

 

Chrom decided it was better not to disturb her and so, he just stared at Robin.

 

“What have they done to you?” He said to himself.

 

“A lot… And I will get you out of here before they do something to you.”

 

Her voice was raw and dry.

 

“Us. You’ll get out with me.”

 

“Hopefully.”

 

Chrom was about to argue with Robin but some guards came into the room.

 

“Jajaja! This will be fun! I love this!” Said the bulky guard.

 

“Yeah…” Replied the second guard.

 

“We were sent to be with you, beauty.” Said the bulky guard to Robin while aggressively grabbing her face. “I know you like being with me.”

 

“Unhand her!” Screamed Chrom.

 

“Well, well. If it isn't the little prince. What are _you_ going to do about it?”

 

“I demand you t-”

 

The bulky guard threw Robin back while the other one opened her cell. They both entered Robin’s cell and started touching her.

 

Chrom was mad, very mad.

 

“Stop it! Don't you dare continue!”

 

Of course the guards continued, and of course, Chrom was mad, but Robin was the one resenting it. She was ashamed and struggling against the guards, but this only got her injured… As always.

 

The two guards stopped having fun. Chrom was still raging.

 

“It's so sad that we only get to rape her when the sun rises.” Says one of the guards.

 

“Yes… but still. I feel great just touching our filthy bitch.” Answered the other one while handcuffing and closing Robin’s cell.

 

Chrom’s throat soared but he kept screaming “I swear I will kill you both by my own hand! I swear!”

 

The guards did not pay attention to Chrom’s threat and walked outside.

 

Chrom turned to Robin. “Robin! How could you let this happen!” He snapped with tears in his eyes.

 

Robin'svoice was in no condition to snap back, but she did answer. “Do you genuinely think this is my fault? How much of a retard do you have to be to tell me such thing when I was doing my best to stop it? Seriously, I am not surprised at all that you are here. You were probably wandering in the woods. So sad that a great kingdom like Ylisse has _you_ as exalt.”

 

There was silence. Not a movement. Chrom could only think about Robin's words and his own. And Robin could only think about how to get Chrom out of there and her bleeding. So she started to rip off the little clothes she had in “good” condition, or not as filthy, and she covered her open skin to stop her bleeding.

 

Robin realized that Chrom did not really think that.

 

“Robin… I’m sorry. This is not your fault. I just wanted to blame it on someone… I didn't think what I said. I am really sorry.”

 

“Yes. Yes…” Said Robin, as if Chrom's word didn't matter. “If there are three guards… no… that did not work… What if.. no… that did not work either. Gods! I can't figure it out…” she muttered to herself.

Chrom couldn't believe it. Robin was not herself. The Robin he had met was sweet and would never brush off an apology like that. He was feeling terrible for what he said, of course, but he was very mad at these three months Robin was here… although he had not completely grasped it yet.

 

\----

 

The nights were cold. They were both dressed in very light clothes before they were thrown into their cells. The handcuffs were tight and silence reigned the room. Chrom was exhausted from struggling against the chains that held his feet captive.

 

Chrom felt like an animal and Robin felt like nothing.

 

Guards came in and took Chrom. He fought back. In a blindness of rage, Chrom punched one of the guards, which made him feel better, but Robin knew that wasn't good.

 

Gangrel came into the room.

 

“Well, you have committed a mistake, little prince.” He said while he was sliding some big chunky rings down his fingers. “Hitting a royal guard. No, no, no. I thought Ylisse’s exalt would have a little more etiquette.” Gangrel grinned and punched Chrom. He did it again. And again. And again and again. Robin thought her world was falling apart. She had failed. She should've never allowed this to happen. If she wasn't so reckless and negligent in that battlefield nothing would've happened.

 

Chrom's pale skin was turning red until blood started sliding down his face.

 

“Stop!” Yelled Robin.

 

The guards stopped laughing and Gangrel stopped beating Chrom up.

 

Gangrel turned around.

 

“JA! So the tactician finally talks! You haven't said a word in the last three months. I knew that if I brought someone you would speak! I am a _genius!”_ Gangrel approached Robin and gently grabbed her chin. “What secrets can the tactician share?”

 

“Filthy scum…” said Chrom weakly.

 

“Gods! He’s just looking for it, sweet tactician!” Gangrel said rolling his eyes. “But! _You_ can save him from his punishment. Just tell me where the Fire Emblem is.”

 

“Don't!”

 

Gangrel snapped his fingers and the guards picked up Chrom, laid him on a table that was beside her cell, tied him up, put a piece of thick fabric on his face, and pulled out a jar with water.

 

Chrom was yelling threats towards Gangrel, the guards, and Plegia.

 

“You just have to tell me where the Emblem is. Then you will be able to go with your friends and family. Chrom should rest. We've beaten him up a lot. And you? You will not have those nasty handcuffs anymore. You will see the sun and finally eat something that's not putrid. You will not be raped every morning. It is a shame. I love it when we do that. Jaja.”

 

Robin remained silent.

 

“So that's how it is, eh?” Gangrel said and snapped his fingers again.

 

Immediately the guards started pouring water on the little piece of fabric that covered Chrom's face.

 

Chrom felt he was drowning. The water was cold, but he felt his entire head was burning. He moved his head trying to avoid the water but it was useless.

 

“All this suffering is because of you, tactician! JAJA!”

 

Chrom closes his eyes tight and tried to breathe. He couldn't.

 

Robin remained silent.

 

“He's suffering! Oh… so lovely… I love torture. Unfortunately, you can stop it.”

 

Robin did not know what to do. She hated that. For the apparent last three months, she had figured out what to do. Not speak. But now… She wouldn't speak. She couldn't speak… Or… Could she?

 

Her reflexion took her longer than Gangrel’s patience could bear. “Aghh! Fine! Maybe the little prince over here can give me an answer.”

 

Gangrel turned towards Chrom, the guards removed the fabric and allowed him to breathe.

 

“ Now, young exalt, where's the Emblem?”

 

Chrom couldn't stop coughing and gasping. Gangrel slapped him.

 

“Stop your whining and tell me!”

 

“No! I will never tell you!”

 

They kept going in circles for a while. Gangrel said tell me Chrom said no. Meanwhile, Robin felt horrible. Chrom was suffering because she was a failure. She was about to tell Gangrel where the Fire Emblem was, but Gangrel himself cut her off.

 

“You both are exhausting! I’ll retire.”

 

He left the room and the guards shoved Chrom back to his cell. The moment they were gone, Robin spoke.

 

“Chrom. I am so sorry. I should've just told them. I am sorry.”

 

“Don't apologize. You did the right thing. Do _not_ tell them anything.”

 

Right. Robin couldn't waste energy regretting anything. She had to get Chrom out.

 

\----

 

She thought and thought. Torture days went by. Sometimes Robin was tortured, others Chrom. Gangrel would slowly introduce needles into their fingernails, burn some parts of their bodies, rape them both, choke them, beat them… But those were all tortures to keep them alive as long as possible.

 

There wasn't a lot of talking involved when they were alone. If they weren't being tortured, they would try to sleep. But when they did talk, they were very friendly with each other. Offering support, even sharing some jokes. Of course, it seemed a little off, but some laughter can bring you peace of mind. Robin was very cold, very serious. Chrom couldn't bear his anger. Each time Robin was tortured, he saw it, and he hated it. He even considered telling Gangrel.

 

One day, when Gangrel was raping Robin, Aversa was there and a page of notes that she had on her tome fell off. Robin picked it up and was put in her cell again.

 

Robin unfolded the little piece of paper and started reading.

 

“What's that?” Chrom asked.

 

Robin did not answer and kept reading.

 

“Robin?”

 

“This is the key. I can get you out of here.”

 

“Us!”

 

“Chrom-!”

 

“No! I'm not leaving without you!”

 

“Fine, fine! Don't yell! It's a spell… A dark mage spell, but I think I can figure this out.”

 

“You'll perform a spell without a tome?”

 

“Of course not. Do you think I'm stupid?”

 

At this point, Robin was not who she used to be. But Chrom could understand her aggressiveness. They both just wanted to leave that horrid place.

 

\----

 

A guard entered the room. He was a guard that Robin could identify because of his clumsiness.

 

This was her shot.

 

Robin immediately allowed the piece of paper to fall off beside her. The guard, as expected, saw it.

 

“What the fuck have you got there?!” The tall, skinny guard exclaimed. “What is that?!” The guard grabbed Robin by the arm violently and with great strength. “GIVE IT TO ME!” He finally exclaimed very anxiously.

 

Chrom was worried. He didn't know what Robin was up to.

 

Robin tried to hide it behind her back.

 

“GIVE IT TO ME YOU STUPID BITCH!” The guard yelled while opening Robin's cell. He walked up to her and started beating her. He took the piece of paper and walked away, closing Robin's cell. He left the room.

 

“Robin! Are you alright?!” Exclaimed Chrom.

 

“Yes… yes… I'm ok.” She said and slid Chrom a key. “That's your cell’s key. There's a loosened brick. Use it to hide the key and leave when they're torturing me. I'm sure there aren't any guards in the entrance while that's happening. If there are, return to the cell immediately.”

 

“I'm not leaving without you.”

 

“Chrom. You _need_ to leave.”

 

“I will not _._ ”

 

“Chrom.”

 

“Robin.”

 

“Leave.”

 

“No.”

 

“Ylisse needs you. The Shepherds need you.”

 

“And _I need you._ ”

 

“How can you be so selfish? You are a leader. You need to lead. You can't be replaced! I can! There are a lot of tacticians who can work with you, who want to work with you. You need to win this war. Chrom, go.”

 

“But… You cannot be replaced. I seriously need you… I’ve seen the horrors of this place, and you can’t live like this anymore. I will not allow it.”

 

“Go!”

 

Chrom thought about it. “But Robin, I-” Four guards entered the room alongside Gangrel.

 

“Oh, sweet tactician… Are you now stealing from Aversa? I thought you would be more intelligent…” Gangrel gave her a smirk. “And I know you are.”

Gangrel knew something else was going on.

 

“Search them both!”

 

The guards started moving, beating, and searching every part of the room. They didn’t find the key.

 

“Unbelievable! There’s gotta be something!” Exclaimed Gangrel.

 

“There’s nothing… Just kill me, already.” Said Robin

 

“So, are you admitting that you tried to cast a dark mage spell? Are you that desperate?”

 

“Indeed, I am. And, when the Shepherds come and capture you, you will feel the same…” Said Robin.

 

“JA! You really are funny, kids! Quite a duet I’ve got here, huh? JAJAJA! Darling, your friends will never find this base. They will never find me.” Gangrel said and left the room.

 

\----

 

They took Robin to the other chamber to rape her, sometimes, they did that. Sometimes, Chrom could hear Robin scream in pain and, when she returned, the blood of her thighs was fresh again. He hated that.

 

Chrom noticed Robin was a lot more serious. Again, she was not herself… Being there would be of no help. So he decided he was leaving.

 

He stood up and took out the key. This was cleaning day, so the guard took his handcuffs off and gave them maintenance. They did this so the handcuffs wouldn’t get rusty, and the prisoners wouldn’t die of some kind of infection.

 

Chrom opened his cell and slowly walked towards the exit. They were in a tiny secret base in the desert. Chrom had no idea how to get back… The terrible sun shining like a demon burning his skin… That was it! The sun! Luckily, Anna had taught Chrom how to return to Ylisse just by looking at the sun. Ylisse was towards the east. There were some horses, guard’s horses presumably. Chrom, in great pain, mounted one. If Robin knew what he was doing, she would probably slap him. Adventuring into the desert with no food, no water, almost no clothes, with huge injuries, and with almost no strength to live… it is not a smart thing to do. But he wasn't in a complete control of his faculties. He just wanted to get out of there.

 

And so, he left that horrid place.

 

He couldn't stop thinking about Robin. He would come back.

 

He was falling asleep. He couldn't fight against the exhaustion. In a bad joke from the destiny, a snake popped out of the sand and scared Chrom’s horse making it stand in two, and making Chrom fall off the horse. The horse ran away. Chrom didn't even try to stand up. He knew he wouldn't live. He could see Emmeryn on the other side. Just a few more moments… he would die briefly. Now, it was death he couldn't fight against. He had so much to do. He had to stop Gangrel, he had to stand alongside Ylisse… he had to help Robin. Get her out of there. But he couldn't. He was dead.

 

\----

 

He woke up in a dark room. He didn't know if he was dead or alive. Then he recognized his cell.

 

“What were you thinking?...” Robin asked passive-aggressively.

 

“Ro… Robin…” Chrom said looking up at her. She had half of her face burned and her entire left arm.

 

“...”

 

“I'm… Sorry…” Chrom said, almost unconscious.

 

Robin said nothing and turned around to sleep. They both slept 15 minutes before an annoying whistle woke them up. They thought it would stop after too long but it didn't. That whistle wouldn't shut up and they were desperate to get some sleep.

 

The silence wasn't part of their life now.

\----

 

Tortures only worsened. Let's give credit where credit is due; Gangrel was very creative when it came down to tortures. Actually, Chrom and Robin grew used to the whistle and were able to sleep. Gangrel noticed and he ordered to put them a special collar which had two opposed forks, one pointing at the chin and the other pointing at the chest, this prevented both of them to sleep, because when their heads dropped, the sharp prongs would pierce their throat and chest, also, they were completely tied down, at the point that the couldn’t really move. Robin tried to commit suicide and so did Chrom, because of the brutality of the torture, but the guards were always watching them and, when they tried such things, guards would stop them. A healer would regularly go to their cells and healed them when they were about to die.

 

Even though the torture was simply terrible, they said nothing.


	2. Freedom?... Not quite.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chrom and Robin have finally escaped from Gangrel's horrifying torture. But still... They have wounds that are open.

Pain. That's all he sees… Pain. He doesn't know what time nor what day it is. He had decided it. He would talk. Robin's condition had only worsened and so had his. He couldn't go on. He just couldn't.

 

Suddenly, screams started on the other side of the door. The strange screams only grew louder and louder. Robin just wanted to sleep.

 

The guards watching over Chrom and Robin were called on.

 

“I won't keep this up.” Said Robin almost to herself and allowed her head to drop.

 

“Robin!” Chrom exclaimed, watching her bleed. “Robin! Please!” Chrom was crying “Don't leave me alone!”

 

Lon’qu kicked the door open.

 

Chrom couldn't believe it. The Shepherds were there. They were saved.

 

“Help her!” Chrom screamed.

 

Lon’qu was walking with a very cautious step. After checking the room, searching for more guards to kill, he rushed to open Robin's cell and removed her collar. The wound wasn't too deep but she was bleeding a lot. Lon’qu quickly pulled out the fork and covered the wound with his hands. He took a ripped piece of her clothes and cover the wound with that so he could carry her.

 

“Yarne will come.” Said the quiet Lon’qu and quickly left the room with Robin on his arms.

 

The sense of relief was amazing. He had never felt so good. His prayers had been answered.

 

Yarne entered the room and carried Chrom out of there. The little basement was on fire. Yanne used his beaststone to transform and carry him through the desert. Lissa was also mounted on Yanne and she was healing Chrom. Chrom wanted to sleep but Lissa wouldn't let him.

 

Robin was on Panne. She was already unconscious when Lon’qu picked her up, Libra was healing her. Even though she was unconscious she wanted to die. She was dreaming about how wonderful death seemed at the moment.

 

\----

 

A few days had passed. Both Robin and Chrom were able to walk now.

 

Chrom had received a very warm welcoming. Lissa cried and Frederick apologized. Robin had received a nice welcoming as well, they were all happy to see her again. But… She asked for no one to bother her. Both Chrom and Robin slept for days before said welcoming took place. When Chrom could speak again, he requested to talk to Robin. She didn't want to. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She didn't want to be seen by anyone. She was ashamed, scared, hurt, and thinking.

 

\----

 

Libra got out of Robin's tent. And Lon’qu stopped him. Libra looked worried.

 

“How is she?” Asked Lon’qu.

 

“Good. Thank Naga.”

 

Lon’qu remained silent, implying an inquiry.

 

“She's… Weird. She doesn't want to talk to anyone… I don't blame her. She's gone through a lot. But… She doesn't want to eat nor she will tell me when something hurts. It's making it hard to heal… I'm sorry we lost our Robin. May Naga look over her.” Said Libra before leaving.

 

Lon’qu entered Robin's tent and sat down beside the exit.

 

Robin looked at him. She was sitting on the bed. They both stared at each other until Robin turned away, ignoring him.

 

They remained like that for hours. Lon’qu noticed Robin hadn't even touched her meal. He stared at her. She didn't move, felt his heavy look, but didn't care.

 

After a few hours, Lon’qu left just to come again the next day and repeat the process.

 

This continued for a few days. Robin did not pay attention until one day Lon’qu stood right in front of her.

 

“Don't you have gynophobia?” Robin said aggressively.

 

“Eat.” Answered Lon’qu

 

“No.”

 

“Eat.”

 

Lon’qu had a point. Robin hadn't eaten in days, or she had eaten very little.

 

“No.” Repeated Robin and looked away.

 

Lon’qu did not know how to respond. He was in cold sweat because of the fear. He was extremely uncomfortable and, in a normal situation, he would have just walked away. But he didn't. There was something keeping him there. It was a strange feeling that he did not like., but it wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling.

 

Lon’qu returned to his usual spot, away from Robin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not finished.


	3. I'm not leaving

Robin was in her tent, as usual. Lon’qu arrived but he noticed that Chrom entered before he did. He overheard their conversation.

 

“Robin?”

 

“Go away.”

 

“I… I need you to plan something… A strategy. We need to get this front an-”

 

“No.”

 

“You can’t be like this. I need you.”

 

“I won’t do it.”

 

“What will you do, then?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“We are a team. If one member does not work, the whole team goes down. You need to do this.”

 

“I will not. I only end up killing people, getting you kidnapped... “

 

“Getting yourself kidnapped.”

 

“I want to die.”

 

Those were Robin’s words. Lon’qu couldn’t believe it, and Chrom couldn’t believe it either.

 

“This cannot continue Robin.”

 

She remained silent.

 

“Robin… Please… I’ve been there, I know how you feel. I can help you. Let me help you. Listen to reason. Listen to me… You cannot die. I will not allow it. You are killing yourself with guilt. Everyone’s worried and everyone needs you. I was there with you, I walked that path, and it was a dark path… But we need to stop this. We will stop this. I will not allow Gangrel to get away with what he did to Emmeryn, to me, to you…”

 

“Go away. Go to sleep.”

 

Chrom gave up. He left the tent and Lon’qu entered.

 

“Leave me alone!” Robin yelled.

 

Lon’qu was silent as always.

 

“Lon’qu… Leave!” She was angry. She couldn't hold back.

 

“I will not leave.” Said Lon’qu. He was trembling with fear, but he knew he had to help Robin. He slowly approached the angry woman. There were pain and sorrow in her eyes, he could see it… He had already seen it before. Chrom was right. She was killing herself with guilt. It was very weird. Usually, he wouldn't care at all. He had already lost a lot of training hours and his battle skills were resenting it, but Robin somehow took priority. This was the person who had saved him from death uncountable times, this was the person whom he owed all his victories to. He gently grabbed her arm. At first, she tried to free herself, she didn't understand what was happening. Lon’qu slid his arm down and grabbed her hand. He didn't know what he was doing, but her hand was soft and delicate… He felt... comfortable. As if he had done it before.

 

“Wh-what are you doing?” She asked the warrior. Robin had tearful eyes.

 

“I… I don't know…”

 

Robin gave him a puzzled look but eventually stopped fighting against the warrior's good intentions. She started crying… She was very ashamed, crying in front of a comrade? Unacceptable, so she tried to look away, avoiding his dark and deep stare.

 

“It's… it's ok… You can look at me…”

 

She did not listen, but she pulled him towards herself and hugged him. Lon’qu was speechless. The urge to push her away was amazingly overthrown by his feeling of caring. He did not want to let go of her. So he hugged her back, pulled her head against his chest, and allowed her to cry.

 

“... Are… Are you alright?”

 

“I’ve killed so many people…”

 

“And you've saved so many.”

 

“I left an entire kingdom without exalt…”

 

“Chrom is there.”

 

“... Chrom… I feel so ashamed… I've caused him so much pain…”

 

“He has forgiven you.”

 

“Y-you think so?”

 

“I'm sure.”

 

“How?”

 

“... I just know.”

 

Silence. Complete silence. The warrior kept holding the tactician with his arms.

 

“Why are you doing this?”

 

“... I don't know.”

 

Robin stepped away from Lon’qu.

 

“Well… thank you Lon’qu.” She said while she dried her tears with her arm. “Can you… Leave me alone…? Please?”

 

The warrior proceeded to leave the tent. When he was out, he said to himself: “What on earth did I just do?”

 

\----

 

Robin looked at the food Libra had given her that morning. Her mouth watered. Should she? Her stomach grumbled. She swallowed the excess saliva that had accumulated inside her mouth. Should she? She was very hungry. She had eaten the minimum she needed to survive in the past few days. Libra told her that she should eat more or she would starve to death. Maybe that’s what she wanted. No. Chrom was right. She couldn’t leave an army alone, they needed a tactician, and, who better than she to do the job? Probably there was someone else better than her out there in Ylisse, perhaps someone who wouldn’t kill an Exalt. Her stomach growled. The food looked delicious. After months of not eating appropriately… Was she neglecting this gift? The idea was ridiculous. But… did she deserve it? Chrom did suffer because of her, after all. Her stomach growled angrily. Her body was screaming for her to do such a basic requirement to exist. She looked outside her tent. She watched Lissa healing Chrom, Yarne struggling to get another Beaststone because he had used the last one on the rescue. Lissa’s little face had a worried look instead of her usual happy expression. Gaius was desperately searching for another silver sword, but he could only find bronze swords. Did he use his last sword while he was rescuing her? Surely, he did. Lastly, she saw Frederick directly staring at her, his eyes were blaming her. Blaming her for his Lord’s pain. She stepped back. She could not stand that stare. She was again inside of her tent. Her safe tent. Or was it a safe tent? What if Chrom did not want Robin to be a Sheperd anymore? The simple thought made her dizzy. Her stomach yelled. She threw herself towards the food. She was devouring it, but not for long; she ran out of her tent, unnoticed, and threw up in the back of her tent. She could not eat.

 

Scum like her deserved to die.

 

She headed back to the inside of her tent, but she blacked out when she was halfway there.


	4. Traitor.

Robin woke up in her poor excuse of a bed. Libra and Chrom were talking beside her, they did not notice she was awake.

“She is in a severe case of malnutrition.”

“Goddammit!” The young exalt exclaimed. “How long will this last? What's gotten into her?!” He was very angry.

“I do not know… But may the Gods smile upon her. We need her.”

Chrom was very worried. He did not like the idea of her leaving his side. He needed her, but not only in a professional way. It was a frequent thought of him to… live alongside such a wonderful woman like Robin.

Frederick, who was standing beside Chrom, joined in.

“Perhaps it is better to send her away, milord.”

“What?” Asked Chrom.

“Maybe war is not for her.”

“War is not a place for anyone” objected Libra.

“I agree, but only the strong of mind can overcome war.”

Chrom's loyal knight was implying that Robin wasn't strong enough? He was infuriated by that comment. Going through the torture she had gone through and still keeping some sense of reality… That was what a strong person would do. The Robin Chrom was so affiliated with was strong.

“There is no better tactician, Frederick.” Said Chrom, obviously angry.

“If I may differ, milord, you do not know that for sure.”

“I do, Frederick.”

The high, intimidating knight wouldn’t give up. “Milord, I strongly suggest you reconsider your actions. We are losing territory and time is a factor here. I am sure she can return to her Plegian--”

“You still believe she is a traitor?” Inquired the Exalt, rage radiating from his being. He couldn't bear that one of their comrades wouldn't trust Robin after all they had gone through. She had saved them uncountable times and this is what she gets in return?!

“Indeed, I believe so.” Said the knight, calmly.

Chrom stood up. “I want you out of my sight… Now…”.

“But Milor--”

“You know? You are now disobeying direct orders from me. I am grateful for your concern, but, if you continue with such recklessness, I will not have other choice but to make you retire from the Sheperds.”

The elegant knight had no option but to leave the tent. Libra followed him, he knew Chrom needed to be alone.

Chrom took sit beside Robin. He grabbed his head in tiredness.

“Chrom…?” Robin dared to say after a long silence.

“Robin! Oh, Robin! You are awake! I was so worried about you!” Chrom said while he approached her.

“No need, Chrom.” She said and sat down on the bed. “I’m alright.”

“Don’t lie to me Robin. You clearly have something. What’s wrong? How can I help?”

Robin though about that question. Chrom wanted to help her… But he couldn’t.

“I'm alright. Thank you for your concern.”

“Robin…”

“I'll do my best to stop this war.”

“I don't want you to stop this war. I want you to recover. To be who you once were. Focus on that, ok?”

She could see his eyes pleading her. An Exalt pleading her… she did not like that.

“Ok, Chrom. I will recover.” She lied.

“Thank you.” He said and hugged her.

His arms were warm and cozy, unlike Lon’qu's which were hard, cold and shaky. Chrom offered her a sense of safety no one else could. Still… she couldn't cry like she had done with Lon'qu. She was afraid of what Chrom could do to her…

She kept hugging him and she could feel tiny drops of warm water falling on her shoulder.

“Are you crying?”

Chrom remained silent. His silence was more than enough to confirm Robin's hypothesis. She pressed him tighter against her body. The only thing she did not want was to watch Chrom suffer any longer.

“May I ask you something, Robin?”

“Of course.”

“Will you answer?”

“Yes.”

“What has happened to you?”

“... I… I… It's just…” She really wanted to tell him, but the words did not come out of her mouth.

“You told me you would answer…”

“I know… I think I feel… guilty…” she muttered.

Chrom looked her in the eye. He was, indeed, crying. “You don't have to.”

“But… Chrom! I killed your sister!”

Chrom gently grabbed her cheek.

“Stop saying that. You did not kill Emmeryn. Gangrel did.”

“But because of me! If I had planned a distraction on the right front and a--”

“Stop it! You are hurting yourself! Don't you see? You could not avoid this, no matter what you did. Emmeryn wanted peace… Help me fulfill that wish.”

Robin couldn't say no to that request.

“Alright… I will.”

“Thank you.”

Robin now was determined to help Chrom and to not make any mistakes. She couldn't afford it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've made it this far... Thank you. This means a lot to me. 
> 
> I'm not finished with this.


	5. Why are you doing this?

Lon'qu was walking towards Robin's tent. She wasn't there. He started to worry. It was the same image he saw when he noticed Robin had been kidnapped.

He quickly walked outside her tent and started searching for her. He couldn't find her. He was about to go into the woods when he saw her training with her tome. She was very focused on what she was doing, so he just stood there, watching her. He should've been training as well, but he found her fascinating. He couldn't stop watching her.

“Alright… Let's do this…” said the tactician.

She stood firmly and started casting a spell. Lon'qu didn't think that it was the best thing to do on her condition, but he did nothing to stop it.

Robin continued casting the spell. A glowing circle with strange ancient writings appeared around Robin. Lon’qu knew she could do it.

“Ngh!” Robin complained. She was struggling too much against the tome. But she continued.

“Agh!” She exclaimed, opened her eyes and turned towards the forest. “Thoron!” She screamed and a huge flash blinded Lon'qu. After his short blindness, he ran towards Robin. She was standing and blood was pouring down her nose. He was about to say something, but Robin laughed like a mad woman. “I can't believe it! JAJAJA! IT WORKED!” The crazy tactician saw Lon'qu, ran towards him, hugged him and started laughing again. “It worked, Lon'qu! It worked!”

“What?” He was very confused.

“Look at this!” Robin showed him her tome. It was not a Thoron tome. It was a Thunder.

“How…?”

“I read it was possible. Now we can purchase the cheapest tomes and use them as the strongest. We can use the money to purchase conjunctions for everyone! Jajaja! Lon'qu!” She hugged him again. “I'm going to get you the best sword in the entire world!”

Lon'qu was as red as anyone could get. His cheeks were as red as Robin's blood. He cleaned the blood off her nose with his thumb. “And… Is it safe?”

Robin realized she was bleeding.

“Oh… Yes. It's safe. Now that I've proven it… Tharja should be able to use it, and, with the proper training, Ricken should be able to do it as well.”

“So… you didn't know it was safe until you proved it?”

“Well… yes. How else was I supposed to know?” Her smile ran away from her face.

“You should not have done it.”

“Why?”

“How risky was it?”

Her silence told him enough.

“Don't do it again.”

They separated.

“Don't tell me what to do.” She said, with a dark look in her eyes.

“Alright then. Kill yourself if you want, but note you are more useful to us alive.” He said and he left. While he was leaving, he realized what he just said to Robin. In his head, it did not sound that harsh. But he continued walking. He wasn't going to apologize to a woman…

Later on, he saw her speaking to Ricken, Miriel, and Tharja. He followed her. She then walked into Chrom's tent and Lon'qu overheard.

“Chrom.”

“Shouldn't you be resting, Robin?”

“No. I came to tell you our next move.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“I analyzed it last night.”

“Instead of sleeping?”

“Yes.” She clarified, very seriously.

She started telling Chrom a detailed plan about what to do. She was amazing, as always… but there was something odd… she didn't seem as passionate as before. But, Lon'qu was convincing himself that he didn't care about Robin… He didn't care.


	6. A dream.

Chrom woke up. It was the middle of the night. Something woke him up. He stood up, took his Falchion and walked out of his tent. It was pitch black but he could see a light in the distance. The light turned red. He approached it more. He in flames, he saw Emmeryn, screaming in pain, crying, dying. He reached out for her, but a strange force did not allow him. Emmeryn's face melted and morphed into Robin's. He was struggling against the force. He had to save them. Then, he looked behind him and tried to glare at the force that was holding him back. It was just a dark mist.

Suddenly, he felt two hands holding his ankles and pulling. Chrom fell down and dropped Falchion. He could hear Robin screaming and crying for his help behind him, but Gangrel was too strong. Gangrel's laughter was too much to bear. It kept growing and growing until it almost makes Chrom's ears explode. Risen started to emerge from the floor and held his arms. He could see how a shadow picked up the Falchion. He looked in that direction. It was… Robin?

“Robin! Help--” He interrupted himself. How could Robin be there if he could keep hearing her agony behind him? He quickly turned towards the fire in which Robin was trapped. It became ice and captured Robin's expression of agony. He did not understand.

Chrom turned towards the shadow that had picked up Falchion. The shadow started talking. It was some kind of foreign language because Chrom could not understand a thing. But he was sure about something; it was Robin's voice.

“Robin!?”

The shadow moved so Chrom could face it. No doubt. That was Robin's face. For some reason, she was threatening him with his Falchion.

“Stop it! What are you doing?!”

He then started to hear a voice inside his head. It was Robin. “Save… me… Chrom… why won't you help me…? Why…? WHY?!”

The shadow Robin held the Falchion up high, pointing at his chest. And she said; “You didn't help her.” Then, she proceeded to stab him.

Chrom woke up in a cold sweat. He grabbed Falchion and got out of his tent. He could see that Robin was awake. He nervously entered her tent. She was sitting on her desk, two maps extended, three books opened, and some sheets of paper were in front of her. She was clearly focused.

“R… Robin?”

Robin turned. “Chrom? Are you alright? You are pale.” She said with her tired eyes looking at him.

He felt a huge relief. He needed to see her face. He needed to see her. He wished he could look at her every morning… waking up beside her… It was a fantasy, but dreaming never hurt anyone.

“Why are you up?”

“I'm your tactician. I have to figure this out. Why are you up?”

“I…” He couldn't think of a good excuse so he decided to tell her the truth. “I want to talk to you.”

“I'm at your service.”

“I… You see… I have… I think…” he did not know how to say it.

“Robin. I want to protect you. I want to be alongside you.”

“So do I. That's why I won't give up with this.”

“No… no… Robin… I don't think you understand… I mean… I want to be alongside you…” He approached her and grabbed her hand in a very romantic way. “For the rest of my life.”

What? Chrom wanted to be with her in a romantic way? Robin could not believe it. She didn't expect it. What to say? What to feel?

“Robin… you bring me comfort. In this rotten world, you are the only one who can help me… You are the only one I still have the urge to protect. I don't want you to die… You don't deserve to die.”

Robin could just look at him. She was speechless. He hugged her.

“Allow me to be called your husband, Robin… I want to marry you… I love you….”

Robin didn't move. He knew he had screwed up. Chrom did not want to let go of her, but Robin just faded. She turned into dust.

“What the--?”

The dust turned into the shadow Robin he had seen in his dream.

“Robin?”

“No.” Answered the shadow with a distorted voice. “I am not Robin. I am what she will become. Her true self. Not even if you marry her will you be able to protect her.”

He woke up.

Chrom stood up. Again. And checked his hands. He wanted to make sure he wasn't in a dream. He counted his fingers 1… 2… 3… 4… 5. He wasn't in a dream. He dressed up, took his Falchion and walk towards Robin's tent. Her light was on. He got into her tent and saw her sleeping on her desk. She looked so… beautiful. Chrom took his cape and covered Robin with it. So tender… and yet so strong… He left and went back to sleep, this time with Robin's gorgeous image.


	7. Just a chat.

Robin started to see it. She walked down the camp, and, despite everyone being nice to her… She noticed the dirty glares everyone gave her now and then. She knew her place. Everyone was doubting her. Everyone thought she was a… traitor. 

The worst one was Frederick. He hated her. He silenced her in war meetings, he talked to her very harshly, and, when they had to train together, he fought her as if he really wanted to kill her. 

She knew her place. 

Robin started to be more silent. She didn't talk when she didn't need to. She sometimes talked to Chrom after a meeting, but it was a quick and dry talk. She found comfort in her books. War books, strategy books, math, science, biology, healing, how to make traps, getting water from trees, anatomy, arts, philosophy, literature, need I go on? She read every book in the camp at least twice. She read every tome and learned latin, as if it was her first language. She was very useful to the army, but still… The army wasn't very grateful. Nevertheless, she had promised Chrom she would help him bring peace. Even if everything she got in retribution was indifference.

Robin still wanted to die. 

Scum like her didn't deserve to live. 

One day, she was doing the inventory, as always. It was a long, tedious work, but someone had to do it. Frederick entered the arms tent. 

“Robin.”

“Frederick.” She did not stop her labor. 

“Can we have a word?”

“I am sorry, but this is important. We can talk later.”

The intimidating knight grabbed her arm too harshly, the tactician dropped her notebook and pen. 

“Allow me to rephrase. We will have a word.” 

The tactician glared but had no other choice but to listen. 

“Of course.” She said with a glare on her face... 

“Why are you here?”

“Excuse me?”

“Why are you here? What do you want?”

Robin said nothing. She had nothing to say. 

“You filthy Plegian. Are you not capable of cognitive thought?” The knight pushed her and she fell. “Well, given you cannot answer such a clear question, I shall leave you be. But, if you keep talking that much to Lord Chrom, I shall end you. You are a safety hazard to us, and my job is to prevent you from harming Lady Lissa or Lord Chrom. Understood?”

Robin wanted to slap him. She was very angry. Still, she did nothing. 

“Understood.” 

The knight left. Robin stood up, shook the dirt off her coat, and, with tears in her eyes, continued doing her work.


	8. Training with a knight.

Chrom had been getting requests from almost everyone in the army to kick Robin out of the Shepherds. Idiots. Not even if she killed someone would he kick her out. 

 

Chrom was getting very mad at the Shepherds for their requests, and the fact that Robin was more and more distant made him angry. He was in a bad mood all day long. He kept asking and asking to himself; Why don't they like her? Why are they so rough? Why can't anyone understand her? Why does this decision have to be mine? What am I feeling? What am I supposed to do? 

 

The questions kept going and going. He hated it. He became bitter towards everyone… except for Robin. He was nice and gallant towards her, but she didn't seem to care.

 

But Chrom did notice something. When Robin and Frederick had to train together, one of them always came out really injured. So, one day, he sat down and saw them training. 

 

They started with the usual greeting. This was a friendly battle, or that's what he thought. Then, they stepped away from each other. Usually, in a fight, the two combatants start to round each other, it was a matter of custom. They did this so they could analyze their enemy's movement. Curiously enough, these two did not start like that. The moment they were away, Frederick threw himself with his giant and mighty horse and lance towards Robin. Robin dodged the attack and used a thunder to knock the knight off his horse. The horse, afraid, ran away. 

 

Frederick stood up and got into the right position to attack. Robin cast three thunders but the knight dodged them all while approaching the tactician. He used his lance to try to stab the tactician, but she dodged it. Without stopping, Frederick did a horizontal motion attempting to cut her in half, but Robin was quick enough to barely block the lance with her sword. They were both pushing until Frederick kicked her in the stomach. She fell. 

 

“Huh… I expected more.” Said, Frederick. 

 

Robin stood up and ran towards him. The knight was expecting a head-on attack, but Robin drew her thunder and attacked with it. The knight was immobilized in pain, giving her the perfect chance to attack with her sword. 

 

Chrom started to get anxious. This was way more violent than a usual training battle. 

 

Robin attempted to slice Frederick’s torso, and she did. That should've been the end of the battle, but Frederick was blinded by fury and, when she was retreating, he threw his fist at her neck. 

 

“Frederick!” Chrom exclaimed. 

 

Robin was on the floor, almost unconscious, but when she saw the knight throwing another fist, she rolled over and dodged it. She quickly stood up and grabbed him by the neck. She was choking him. 

 

“Stop!” Demanded the prince. 

 

Robin immediately dropped the knight. Chrom approached Frederick. 

 

“Frederick. Are you alright?”

 

“Yes, milord.” He coughed. “This traitor--”

 

“What were you thinking?! The battle was over!”

 

“Uh… Yes… Of course milord. My apologies.”

 

“Do not apologize to me!” Chrom said. 

 

Robin fell unconscious. Lon'qu and Lissa, who were also watching the training, ran to assist the fallen tactician. Lon'qu grabbed her in his arms while Lissa was checking her. 

 

“Robin…” Chrom said while she was taken away to her tent. “Frederick… Meet me inside.”

 

“Milor--”

 

“Now.” Chrom walked to his tent. 


	9. Caring.

Robin woke up and saw Lissa. 

 

“H-How long have I been asleep?”

 

Lissa was about to answer, but a much thicker and manly voice interrupted her. 

 

“Unconscious. A few hours.”

 

Lon'qu was standing behind Lissa. 

 

“Hours?! I have to get up an--” Lissa interrupted the hurried tactician. 

 

“You are not going anywhere. I have to check if you responded well to the treatment. I'm going to get some water. Lon'qu, watch her. Do not allow her to get up.” Lissa got out of the tent. 

 

“I have to go.” Repeated Robin. 

 

“You will not leave.” Said Lon'qu. 

 

The tactician didn't listen and sat down. Lon'qu rushed to her side and made her lie down. “You need to rest, Robin.” 

 

“No, I need to think, I need to read, I need to plan, I need to do the inventory of the weapons, food, and items, I need to teach Ricken how to use the tome, I need to talk to Chrom I need t--” 

 

The warrior spoke with a surprisingly soothing voice. “No. You will not do that. That was a hard hit… I did not expect that from Frederick”

 

They both remained silent. 

 

“Lon'qu… Do you think I'm a traitor?”

 

“Of course not.” 

 

“Does anyone else think that?”

 

The warrior was a very quiet person, he did not like to speak, ergo he didn't speak to anyone. But he had heard something like that coming out of his comrade's mouths. 

 

“I knew it.” Robin sighed, his reflexion had taken too long. 

 

“Is that why Frederick punched you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Something inside of Lon'qu woke up. It was a strange feeling of hatred. Robin getting hit by a knight who doubles her weight? That was low… And being a knight, Frederick should know it. Lon'qu looked away with an angry expression. 

 

“Lon'qu…”

 

“What?” The warrior almost snapped. The fury inside of him was such that he could barely control himself. 

 

“Thank you.” 

 

Instantly the warrior's face turned red. Her hand was touching his arm. He tried to hide it, but his blushing only worsened. 

 

“Er… I… er… You're welcome… But… You are developing a habit of touching me…” The warrior said. 

 

“Oh!” Robin unhanded him. “I'm sorry! I didn't realize…” 

 

Lon'qu stopped feeling the warmth of her hand and regretted what he had said. 

 

“Well… it is not necessarily bad…” He muttered. 

 

“Are you comfortable with me touching you, Lon'qu?”

 

Gods… He loved when she spoke his name. She did it in such a lovely way… He wanted to hug her...

 

“I… did not say that.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Every single word he said was stupid! 

 

“Er… I will… Just…” His face was very hot. He couldn't bear it. “Do not stand up.” He finally said and left the tent. “Gods… What is wrong with me?” He remembered the tactician's soft skin touching him, his face was beyond red. He was burning up.  

 

Meanwhile, Robin sat there… Looking at Lon’qu’s nervous silhouette outside the tent. She smiled warmly… And then she remembered. He didn’t really care about her. He had wished death upon her… Robin’s chest started to hurt. As if… Her heart was starting to rot.


	10. How did it come to this?

“Why did you do that?!” Yelled the mad prince. 

 

“Milord, I was just--” Frederick had no real excuse. 

 

“You perfectly know that, once a combatant performs a fatal attack, the battle is over! You attacked her from the back! What the fuck is wrong with you?! You could've killed her!” 

 

Frederick said nothing. He wanted to kill her. 

 

“You wanted to, didn't you?” 

 

Was he that transparent? 

 

“I do not believe she is trustworthy.” He said although he knew that would only anger the prince.

 

“Why?”

 

“She does not know her own origins, milord.” 

 

“She has saved your life. She has saved my life. Why can't you trust her?” 

 

“I… Milord. I just cannot.” 

 

“Fine, Frederick. You can believe whatever you want. But be warned. If you do something like this again I  _ will _ have you  _ killed. _ ” Said Chrom darkly and left. He headed to the tent where Robin was being treated. He entered. “Robin…”

 

Robin couldn't let Chrom see any trace of weakness in her. 

 

“Hi.” She said. 

 

“Are you alright?” Chrom asked. 

 

Robin sat down. “Yes. This is just an exaggeration from your sister. I feel good. It wasn't that bad.” 

 

“It was a dick move…” 

 

“It was… but I'm ok. You do not need to worry.” 

 

“But I do! Robin! If something… else… happened to you, I don't know what I would do…” Chrom looked at her eyes. “I would hate myself…” 

 

Robin smiled very sincerely. “Thank you, Chrom. Honestly, thank you.” 

 

“For what? Not protecting you?”

 

“For being so understanding. For not turning away.”

 

“I am so sorry, Robin. You deserve respect. You deserve something better…” He stood up. “Anf I'm going to make sure that everyone gives you what you deserve.” He walked away with a strange look in his eyes. 

  
  


\----

 

Robin… Was not alright. She wasn’t able to eat, she ended up throwing up everything she tried to eat, but she hid it. She felt like she had no strength. Still, she knew she was being stupid, but something inside her really wanted her to die. She also had started to have dark thoughts about everything. She wanted to die, but she also wanted to bring everyone else down with her. The only things that were stopping her were her promises to Chrom. She was not strong enough to break it. 

 

This specific march was terrible for Robin. She felt weak, and she was exhausted, she ended up at the back of the group. Lon’qu noticed, and slowed down for her to catch up. He started walking next to her. 

“Are you alright?” Asked Lon’qu.

 

“Yes. I am.” Answered Robin.

 

“That looks… Heavy.” Said Lon’qu, referring to Robin´s bag.  

 

“It’s ok.”

 

“Are you--?” 

 

“What do you care?!” Robin snapped and walked faster. She was avoiding him. She did not like to be around people anymore... Everyone thought the same about her, and Lon’qu was no exception in her eyes.

 

Lon’qu stopped, shocked. Watching how Robin left him behind. Something inside Lon’qu did not accept her to leave him… He couldn’t bear it. The confused warrior caught up with Robin.

 

“What… Happened?”

 

“You won’t fool me… You… You think the same as everyone else… You think I’m a traitor… I’m worthless… You hate me.” The tactician muttered.

 

“What?” Lon’qu genuinely did not know what was happening. But he was certain of one thing. “I don’t hate you.”

 

“You wish me dead.”

 

He thought about what happened in the forest. How could he forget? 

 

“If you are talking about the forest… I did not mean it like that.”

 

“How else can you mean the sentence:  _ Kill yourself… _ ?”

 

They both remained silent. She, waiting for an answer, but he, not able to give her one.

 

“It is clear. You do not care. Stop offering me a fake side of yourself. Just admit you hate me. It’ll be easier for both of us.” She said and started to walk faster. 

 

How did it come to this? Lon’qu did not want her to think that… No. She was right. He did not care. He did not…


	11. A monster...

The march took a break. Robin’s legs were so grateful… She wanted to have a word with Chrom, but she remembered Frederick’s threat. She stopped thinking about Chrom and started thinking about some in-combat strategies she could use. Her train of thought was quickly interrupted by a familiar voice.

 

“Robin…?” 

 

She turned back to see Lissa holding her staff in a shy way. 

 

“Hi, Lissa. What’s wrong?” 

 

“I… Chrom asked me to come check on you…” This behavior was odd coming from Lissa, she was usually so cheerful and friendly…

 

“Oh yeah? Well.. I am alright, Lissa. Thank you for asking.” Robin said in a friendly voice, attempting to make Lissa come to her normal self. 

 

“Y-you... Look kind of… pale…May I... ?”

 

“Sure.” Answered Robin. 

 

There was an odd silence between the two women.

 

“Good day for a march, isn’t it?”

 

“Y-yeah…”

 

Lissa used her staff to examine Robin’s body.

 

“You are getting better with your staff.”

 

“...”

 

“I read that is a difficult spell to perform.” Robin smiled.

 

“...”

 

“You... You are improving. I am proud.”

 

“...”

 

Robin sighed. “What is wrong?” 

 

Lissa stopped what she was doing… Paralyzed… In fear, apparently. Robin got anxious and concerned. 

 

“I...I…”

 

“Are you alright?”

 

Lissa’s eyes started to water, her face turned red, and her hands were trembling.

 

“Lissa?”

 

“I… Am scared…” She answered.

 

“It’s ok. I know war is scary, and I could not imagine what you are going through… You are too young… I am sorry this had to happen to you.” 

 

“I… Do not want to die…”

 

“I will not let you die, Lissa.” Robin said, grabbing Lissa by the shoulder. 

 

“Like you did with Emmeryn?!” Lissa exclaimed, but covered her mouth regretting saying that out loud. “I… I am.. I did not mean to... “ Lissa started to cry and ran off, leaving Robin on the ground. 

 

Scum like she did not deserve to live.

 

It started to rain, so Chrom decided to camp there. All the other Shepherds were putting up the tents, but Robin was just sitting there… Completely crushed. She was a monster in everyone’s eyes. 


	12. Some bread

Chrom started to wonder where Robin was. He couldn’t see Robin’s tent. He searched for her. When he was starting to get nervous, he found her, out in the rain. In the same spot he had previously seen her with Lissa. Chrom took his cape and put it over Robin’s head, as a shield against the rain.

 

“You will catch a cold.”

 

Robin remained silent, covering her face with her knees. 

 

“Robin… What’s wrong?” 

 

Robin shook her head.

 

Chrom took a sit beside Robin.

 

“It’s alright… You can talk to me.”

 

Robin shook her head again. 

 

They both remained silent. Until Robin hugged Chrom and started crying. She did not want him to see her cry, but there was no one else who would listen to her… 

 

Chrom surprised, hugged her back.

 

“May I know, Robin…?”

 

“I… I… I am a monster, Chrom…” Robin Sobbed.

 

“No… No… You are not…”

 

“Yes. I am… I--”

 

“Don’t say that…”

 

“I need you to listen... “

 

Chrom realized he had interrupted her.

 

“I hate myself, Chrom. Frederick hates me, Lon’qu hates me, Lissa hates me…”

 

L-Lissa...?

 

“I can’t do anything right. I can’t even take care of myself… I- I haven’t eaten in days…”

 

Days…?!

 

“I swear I try! But I only end up throwing up everything I try to eat… It hurts… I just want to kill myself to end with this pain... “

 

Robin continued to cry. Chrom felt sad. Watching Robin like this… It was not pleasant. He loved her, and the impotence ate him up.

 

“Here… Let’s go inside…”

 

“I… D- don’t have a tent…”

 

“You will sleep with me tonight.”

 

They both got up and walked into Chrom’s tent. 

 

“I have some dry clothes for you, Robin.” Chrom said.

 

Robin took off her heavy coat. Chrom looked at her, she was thin, almost as thin as she was when they were with Gangrel. Chrom took a blanket and covered Robin hugging her from behind. 

 

“Chrom…?”

 

“You are cold…”

 

“I… Am..?”

 

“Yes…”

 

Robin decided to stay there, feeling the exalt’s sweet embrace. His bulky arms surrounding her… she felt protected, finally… 

 

“Robin… No matter what… I'll always be there for you… I would trade my life for yours without a second thought. You are very important to me.” 

 

Was he implying something…?

 

“You have to eat.” He said, breaking the hug and going to the other side of the tent to get a little bit of food. He got bread. “Here.” He offered her. 

 

The bread wasn't in the best condition it could be, as you'd expect it to be in the middle of a war, but, in Robin's eyes, it looked like a feast. Her mouth watered… she took it. Immediately after swallowing one little bite, she felt the urge to vomit but covered her mouth. 

 

Chrom hadn't understood the seriousness of the situation until he saw this. Not knowing how to respond, he took Robin's hand. “Come on… I know you can do it.” 

 

Robin was really trying. She did not want to kill herself in this way. She wanted it to be swift and painless, and starvation was too awful. 

 

She tried and she tried, but she couldn't hold it. The tactician looked away as she fell to her knees and puked the almost nothing that was in her stomach. She had been doing this almost every day… Part of her vomit was blood. 

 

Chrom kneeled beside her and held her hair back, allowing her to vomit. 

 

“You have to forgive yourself, Robin.” Said the worried exalt. 

Robin gasped and cried. “I… try…” 

 

Chrom grabbed a cloth napkin and cleaned Robin’s face. “You are strong, brave, intelligent… It hurts to see such talent being slaughtered.”

 

She kept crying. “why…?” She asked. 

 

“Why…? What?”

 

“Why have you forgiven me?”

 

Chrom thought about it. He could see where she was coming from. He could see the guilt in her, he could understand it… But he did not agree. 

 

“Because… There's really nothing to forgive.”

 

“I killed Emmeryn… I allowed myself to be captured by Gangrel causing you to get captured as well… “

 

“But you didn't, Robin!” He finally snapped. What she was saying was just stupid in his eyes. 

 

Robin stopped crying. Did he really think that? She suddenly felt Chrom's warmth against her body…

 

“Robin… I… I… I cannot allow the woman I love to die…”

 

Robin’s eyes widened. Love? Was she hearing things?

 

“So, please… Don’t starve yourself. Don’t hurt yourself…” 

 

The tactician was confused. But she knew he was being sincere, so she hugged him tightly. “Ok… I- I… Will give it another shot.”

**Author's Note:**

> Not finished.


End file.
